Intentional Accommodations & Planning for Spontaneity

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In this episode Ela explores the significance of adaptive systems for neurodivergent individuals, focusing on intentional design to cater to varied needs. By promoting self awareness and acknowledging personal accommodations, we have the ability to enhance our quality of life.

Want to learn more about systems thinking and intentional life design? Join us weekly for Systems Recess and play with ways to make things easier!

Introduction to Adaptive Systems for Neurodiversity [00:00:16]

Because I know that I exist on a spectrum in so many ways, I have to make sure that my systems can be adapted to any level of energy, to any level of physical capabilities, to any level of mental capabilities. It’s really easy when I don’t have adaptive systems in place to fall into old coping mechanisms and old thought patterns and to fall into the shame and to fall into frustration and negative self-talk because I never really know where I’m going to fall on that spectrum at any given day. I developed this framework to help others build Adaptive Systems as well because I know how frustrating it is to not be able to do things that you’re really excited about, or to not be able to do things that you committed to, or that you were looking forward to.

The Role of Intentionality in Personal Accommodation Design [00:01:45]

Before I really started learning about systems design I had a lot of processes and a lot of systems set up that weren’t intentional. I wasn’t documenting them. I didn’t really know my why behind them. I knew I was looking for a specific result and I knew that these processes gave me that, but I wasn’t really asking myself like, Why do these processes work, right?

I didn’t know what needs I was meeting and what the specific actions were that led to those results and I wasn’t documenting that in any kind of way that would allow me to review and refine and adapt my systems. Ultimately I was unintentionally stunting my own growth and making any necessary changes that much harder for myself because I was always starting from the beginning.

Impact of Intentional Accommodations on Quality of Life [00:07:24]

If you’re unfamiliar, one of the principles of systems thinking is that each part of your system has an impact and can interact with the whole. So when you fail to include yourself and your energy levels and your health and your capacity as a part of the system that you’re building, you’re not acknowledging all of the needs and the support and all of the factors. It’s not intentional and it’s not compassionate.

I do my absolute best to be very intentional when I’m building systems, whether for myself or for clients too make sure that we are considering all of those factors. We are considering your health and your physical and mental wellbeing. And we are considering how to build systems that allow you to show up as your full self, to build systems that allow you to rest, to build systems that make your work easier. So that you can spend your time doing the things you love, so you can spend your time supporting others.

And you know, because we can’t divest from the larger systems at play if we don’t have the energy and capacity in community to support us as we dream of new things and we work towards a better world for all of us.

Connection Between Accommodations, Disability Justice, and Community Organizing [00:15:20]

I think it’s really important to acknowledge all of the ways in which the accommodations that we build for ourselves and for others come back to disability justice, come back to community organizing and the fact that you know, disabled people have been fighting for accommodations for as long as there have been disabled people. I just think it’s really important to acknowledge that like, this is a fight that started well before us, and will continue after us. And that I am at a point where I can actively build these accommodations into my life because of the people who have been fighting for their whole lives prior to me.

Strategies for Adapting to Variability in Energy and Capability [00:04:05]

  • Reducing Decision Fatigue and Giving myself Options [00:13:23]
    • I like to start with a list. I try to make a note on low energy days and low capacity days of what is most difficult for me. What are the decisions that I’m struggling with? What are the things that I am avoiding the most? Like, what are the things I’m avoiding with consistency? What are the things that feel like they’re just way too hard for me to do?
    • I try to then make a list of all of the options that I either struggled to decide between or all of the things that I would want to do in a perfect world, so that next time I have a low energy day, I can reduce the decision making entirely.
  • How can you Make this Easier? [00:20:11]
    • I break down how to ask yourself: how can things can be easier? And how you can take things that have already worked for you, acknowledge them and how you can use those things to make it easier? We host Systems Recess, which is a guided workshop every single week, so that you can come back to this process as many times as possible. Because like any other kind of thought work, it gets easier with practice. And because I think that this framework is simple enough that it can be applied to literally anything in your life. So I encourage people to come back every week and to try to focus on different areas of their life because everyone can benefit from making things easier.
  • Planning for Spontaneity [00:30:41]
    • One of my favorite ways to practice spontaneity and to plan for spontaneity is actually to have an intuition day. The inspiration and the name for this comes from Lexi Merritt at Pretty Decent. And essentially what I do is I decide that on this day, I am only going to follow my intuition. Right.
    • I don’t have anything planned. I make sure that my entire calendar is empty for the day. I get to only do the things that I want for that day. I follow my intuition and again, all of those lists are very helpful for me because I don’t always wake up going “Oh yes. I want to do 500 different things today.” But I, as always, I have those options available to me.
  • Utilizing Your Environment [00:32:27]
    • Ask yourself: How do I set up my environment to support the options that I want to be choosing? How do I set up my environment so that my options are readily available to me? And how do I set up my environment so that the choices that I want to make are the easiest choices for me?
Click to read episode transcript

[00:00:00] Ela Miranda: Holi Holi, and welcome to Building Blocks and Puzzle Pieces. This is a Rain or Shine podcast, and I am your host, Ela Miranda. I’m so excited to welcome you here under our umbrella and to dive into how to build your own accommodations, the building blocks you need to get there, and the puzzle pieces that you might need to solve along the way.

[00:00:16] I wanted to talk today a little bit about adaptive systems. And what the fuck that even means. because as far as I know, as far as I’ve seen, this is a term that nobody else really uses. And, this is something that I started utilizing in my own life well before I had the terms for it or before I was even really intentionally designing my systems.

[00:00:44] I think a lot of neurodivergent people, especially autistic people can really relate to this. Because autistic people are really, really good at recognizing patterns and we’re really good at developing systems. But I don’t think that there is always intentionality behind it. I think sometimes we develop rituals and routines and processes to make doing things easier for ourselves. But we don’t always document those processes and we don’t always really sit down to get deep into the why behind those things.

At least in my experience, right. There are some autistic people that I know who are really into systems design. And so therefore, like, they have more intimate knowledge of some of this process. And that’s fantastic, but I think a lot of times, and even for myself, before I got into, you know, this process of systems design and really learning about the frameworks and the science behind it.

[00:01:45] And you know, before I really started learning of these things. I had a lot of processes and a lot of systems set up that weren’t intentional in that way. Like I wasn’t documenting them. I didn’t really know my why behind them. Other than that, they worked. You know, I knew I was looking for a specific result and I knew that these processes gave me that, but I wasn’t really asking myself like, Why do these processes work, right?

[00:02:13] Like what needs am I meeting and what are these specific actions that I’m taking in order to reach these results and, you know, I wasn’t documenting that in any kind of way that would allow me to review and refine and adapt my systems. And that’s really important because novelty is a really big motivator for me. And because I have chronic illnesses my energy and my productivity and just like my physical and mental abilities change very frequently. They fluctuate in an unpredictable manner. And so. There are going to be times where systems that work when I have full energy and full focus and full capabilities. That aren’t going to work when I can’t get out of bed or when I don’t have access to those capabilities.

[00:03:11] So. I have to make sure that my systems can be adapted to any level of energy, to any level of physical capabilities, to any level of mental capabilities, because I know that I exist on a spectrum in so many ways. And I never really know where I’m going to fall on that spectrum at any given day. And it’s really easy when I don’t have adaptive systems in place to fall into old coping mechanisms and old thought patterns and to fall into the shame and to fall into frustration and negative self-talk because. It’s frustrating to not be able to do things that you’re maybe really excited about, or to not be able to do things that, you know, You were planning for, or that you were looking forward to.

[00:04:05] I think one of the things that’s often very frustrating for me personally, is like, I will plan out my week. And if I am unable to do things on any given day, those things are still necessary to complete. Like there are some things absolutely that, like, I plan for that I don’t have to do that don’t have any kind of responsibility or negative consequences if I don’t do them. And there are a lot of things that I do have to do. And so those things often just get pushed out to other days, and it can be really frustrating because especially before I had these systems in place. Right.

[00:04:46] It’s a lot better now. Not perfect. I’m still constantly working on it, but. Especially prior to these systems, what would often happen is I would plan out my week. I would have a lot of responsibilities on my plate. And so I would make my best efforts to plan things out in a way that was well balanced and wouldn’t overextend myself. And then I would wake up one day and have way lower capacity than I had planned for. And so those things would then get pushed to the next day or further out in the week. And then this balanced schedule that I had attempted to make for myself quickly became unbalanced because I’m like adding more and more to my plate as I am unable to complete things, which then means I am overextending myself. Which then means that I am more likely to have more days of low capacity in the future. And it’s just this really vicious cycle that is incredibly difficult to get out of, especially because even if I am able to rest on those little capacity days, it’s more so rest to regain my typical capacity and not rest to fuel myself so that I can then do this over extension of tasks that are now on my plate, moving forward. And it was just really incredibly difficult for me.

[00:06:15] And it became even more difficult because I was both working in corporate jobs and I was in school and, you know, I had so many more responsibilities that had very strict deadlines and required a lot of capacity. And so. Not having the systems in place in a way that could honor both me at my highest capacity and me at my lowest capacity. This was just constantly sending me back into the cycle of overextending myself and not having adequate rest and combined with, you know, negative self-talk and shame, I recognize now that it wasn’t as motivating as I was telling myself that it was. However at the time, right? Those were the only coping mechanisms that I had. And so combined with you know, this cycle of overextending myself and never being able to rest and constantly being unable to honor my needs and the support that I needed. I really wasn’t in a good place. Like I did end up having a lot of productivity. But the cost was my mental and my physical health.

[00:07:24] One of the things that I say really often is the fact that you are a part of any system that you build, right. If you’re unfamiliar, one of the principles of systems thinking is that. Each part of your system has an impact and can interact with the whole. So when you fail to include yourself and your energy levels and your health and your capacity as a part of the system that you’re building you’re not acknowledging all of the needs and the support and all of the factors. Right.

[00:08:03] Like, yes, you can build a fantastic system without acknowledging yourself as part of it. And there are some times where you want to remove yourself entirely from the process. And that’s fine. But it needs to be intentional, right. If you are not considering yourself as part of the process when you are actively going to be part of the process then you’re just not acknowledging all of the factors. Which means that when things go wrong, right. When your energy and your health and your needs change, the other parts of your system can’t accommodate that because you never included yourself in the system. Because you never like thought that through, you never put intentionality into those decisions and into the ways in which the you can impact all of those other parts.

[00:08:55] And so, it is at the end of the day, simply not compassionate. It’s not going to function as well as it could. Because you haven’t acknowledged all of the factors. And this is something that I really try to get a lot of people to focus on because I think it’s really easy, especially in today’s culture, to get caught up in feeling like you have to do everything all of the time. Feeling like you have to constantly be at a hundred percent. You have to constantly be working. You can never show weakness. You can never stop, you can never rest.

[00:09:29] And that’s not the kind of world that I want to live in and it’s not the kind of world that I want to build. And so. I do my absolute best to be very intentional when I’m building systems, whether for myself or for clients too make sure that we are considering all of those factors. We are considering your health and your physical and mental wellbeing. And we are considering how to build systems that allow you to show up as your full self.

[00:10:00] To build systems that allow you to rest. To build systems that make your work easier. So that you can spend your time doing the things you love, building community. So you can spend your time supporting others. And you know, because we can’t divest from the larger systems at play. If we don’t have the energy and capacity in the community to support us as we dream of new things and we work towards a better world for all of us.

[00:10:33] So how do we then plan for spontaneity, right? How do you plan for something that you can’t anticipate? And this is a question that I get a lot and I think it’s, it’s so funny because it’s both a question that people have, and it’s also an objection that people have, right. There are a lot of creative people in a lot of neurodivergent people that I know that are like, oh, like I can’t plan at all. I don’t want to, it’s never been successful for me because they don’t consider themselves as part of the process. Right. And so when you aren’t considering your needs. It makes sense that you would try to plan in a quote unquote, traditional way. And not be successful in that. Because that’s not how you work.

[00:11:19] Like I said, novelty is a really big motivator for me. So is anxiety. While we’re at it. And that was a really interesting discovery that at some point I will have to tell y’all all about, but for right now, I will just say that like when I started my psych meds and I realized that like, Without that constant internal panic. I didn’t know how to get anything done. Like I hadn’t consciously realized that that was a coping mechanism that I was using. But it was probably one of the most consistent coping mechanisms that I have for getting things done and so discovering a new way to motivate myself was an incredibly interesting challenge.

[00:12:00] But back to spontaneity. And novelty, right. I like to think of systems as a series of decisions. And I know I talked about this before. But I think it bears repeating that like, you are making the decision ahead of time to reduce the decision fatigue later. And that’s really important for me because decision fatigue seems like such a small thing. But on a day when I have low capacity and low energy. Making a decision can take all of my energy.

[00:12:31] Which means that by the time I make the decision. I have no energy left for doing the thing. And I used to beat myself up a lot, I used to get incredibly frustrated with myself because it’s really difficult. And it was really difficult to have compassion for myself as I was working through this because I like literally just did not have the understanding or the energy even to reframe those thoughts and to be kind to myself as I literally cannot do any of the things, right?

[00:13:02] And especially because like, you know, if I take all of my energy just making the decision. Often for me, that would mean that I would then fail, not only in my like productivity tasks, but also in caring for myself. And when I don’t care for myself. It makes having that self-compassion so much harder.

[00:13:23] I think the point, it’s more so that in my life, didn’t always realize how much energy making a decision can take for me. And so when I started to make decisions ahead of time. So that all I had to do was like close my eyes and pointed a list. When I started to make decisions ahead of time, when I started to accommodate myself and give myself options so that I no longer had to spend all of my energy compiling all of those options and deciding what my options were. It was much, much easier to make a choice. And to move on either to getting those productivity tasks done, or even just to move on to caring for myself. And move on to you know, Doing other things, because I do believe that it is okay to rest. It doesn’t always necessarily feel like that in my body still. But. I do believe that it is okay to rest. And I do believe that if I don’t accomplish any of my work tasks or any of my productivity tasks for a day, that day can still be successful.

[00:14:28] It used to be a lot harder for me to see in that however, because I would get so caught up in the decision making part. I would get so caught up in like, Using all of my energy to try to decide whether or not I’m going to do those productivity tasks. That I would often end up spending my whole day just stuck in that, trying to make a decision phase. Which then meant that I wasn’t doing any of the other things, like whether it was productivity related or not. I often wasn’t eating, I wasn’t caring for myself. I wasn’t getting out of bed at all. And like I, I try not to assign morality to the actions that I’m taking. So it’s not so much that I have an issue with spending the whole day in bed. My issue is that I’m so caught up in the decision that I have no energy left for caring for myself.

[00:15:20] And that’s just how my brain works. Right. It might be that making a decision is totally easy for you. In which case, fantastic. And. I think it’s important to recognize that like, All accommodations are beneficial to everyone. Like, whether it’s actually actively disabling you or not, you can still benefit from it. A really great example of this is curb cuts, right? Yes, those were originally intended to help people in wheelchairs move around in a much more accessible way.

[00:15:49] Not just like more accessible as like it is genuinely not accessible for people in wheelchairs to get around without curb cuts. Right. But taking that action also helps people who have other disabilities, right? Like I’m not in a wheelchair, but it is often easier for me to take a ramp than it is for me to take stairs. It helps people with strollers, it helps people who are carrying large amounts of things, right? It helps bicycles. It helps all sorts of people, whether you have a disability or not. Having a curb cut is beneficial to society at large.

[00:16:28] And we don’t often think about that kind of accessibility. Frankly, I think as a society, we don’t consider architectural accessibility. Anywhere near the extent that we should be. But I do believe that all accommodations work in that way. Right. That like making a decision can often be a disabling apt for me. If I have no energy for the day, trying to make a decision about what I’m going to do can completely disabled me for the rest of the day. That may not be the case for everyone. And it’s not necessarily the case for me all of the time. But having those options in place is helpful to me, whether I’m low energy or not.

[00:17:09] And I think it’s really important to acknowledge all of the ways in which the accommodations that we build for ourselves and for others come back to disability justice, come back to community organizing and the fact that you know, disabled people have been fighting for accommodations for as long as there have been disabled people. But I just think it’s really important to acknowledge that like, This is a fight that started well before us. And we’ll continue after us. And that I am at a point where I can actively build these accommodations into my life because of the people who have been fighting for their whole lives prior to me.

[00:17:50] So that’s a lot of talk about the importance of it and the impact of it. And a brief mentioned to the history of it. But I also want to share a few practical examples for you because I think there are a lot of people who, even if you aren’t necessarily talking about these things all the time, you do recognize the importance of it. And the impact that accommodations could have. And that’s all well and good, but how do you ask for them? How do you accommodate yourself, you know, like how, how do you build those accommodations into your life?

[00:18:19] And I really do believe that this can all be simplified down to asking yourself: why is this hard? And how can I make it easier? However that only works if you are acknowledging the ways in which it is hard. I have seen for myself and with a lot of my friends and people that I work with. Often we are so used to operating in a world that is not built for us. We are so used to operating at any cost. I think a lot of times, our only safe option is to mask, is to push through the pain, is to continue going, is to not allow yourself to rest, to not allow yourself to feel, and to not allow yourself to acknowledge your problems. Because there is no solution for them. And so acknowledging them isn’t helpful. It only makes it more difficult for you to continue surviving, right. So I want to make sure that I acknowledge that.

[00:19:14] And. I think when that has been your mindset for so long. It’s incredibly difficult when you do have options other than survival, when I do get to a point of being able to rest and feel, and accommodate yourself. It can feel just as scary and difficult as it did when you didn’t have those options. Because feeling safe is a lot different from knowing that you’re safe, if that makes any sense. Like. Acknowledging these things in your body can take a lot of work. And I’ve seen for myself and for my friends and people that I know that sometimes the act of acknowledging can be more difficult than the act of making the accommodation. So just some, some common humanity there. And acknowledgement that like, it’s okay. I see you. And if you are at a point of acknowledging these things, You’ve already done so much work. So take a moment to be proud of yourself for that.

[00:20:11] And try to give yourself chances as you go throughout your day to ask yourself, Are these things difficult? Are there ways in which I can make it easier? If you would like some guidance in going through that process of asking yourself why and how it can be easier. You are more than welcome to join us at systems recess. Where we essentially go for that whole process.

[00:20:30] There are six steps to the framework that I use. So we kind of break down how to ask yourself how these things can be easier and how you can take things that have already worked for you, acknowledge them and have you can use those things to make it easier. We host a guided workshop every single week, so that you can come back to this process as many times as possible. Because like any other kind of thought work, it gets easier with practice. And because I think that this framework is simple enough that it can be applied to literally anything in your life. So I encourage people to come back every week and to try to focus on different areas of their life because everyone can benefit from making things easier. Whether you’re a business owner or not thinking about your problems and your challenges and coming from a place of self-compassion and continuing to make things easier for yourself. The more you can show up to that process the more, you were proving to yourself that you can trust your thoughts that you can trust yourself to make things easier for yourself. That you can trust that these accommodations are not only accessible to you, but they are actively and always available to you. So. That is always available weekly. You can find all of the events and registration on our website if you’d like to join us for that.

[00:21:48] And there are also lots of other ways you can implement the concept of adaptive systems in your life. And it’s very simplest. I like to start with the list. I tried to sit down on high energy days. And. Actually how I go through this process is I try to make a note on low energy days and low capacity days of what is most difficult for me. What are the decisions that I’m struggling with? What are the things that I am avoiding the most. Like, what are the things I’m avoiding with consistency? What are the things that feel like they’re just way too hard for me to do. And I have a system for note-taking in notion that I come back to. But I also have notebooks. And often on low energy days, it’s easiest to reach for a notebook and write these things down physically than it is for me to begin to acknowledge my digital systems.

[00:22:40] But regardless of how and where you are making a list of options, right. Using the data that you have from your low energy days. And knowing what things are most difficult for you, knowing what decisions you struggle to make. I try to make a list of all of the options that I either struggled to decide between or all of the things that I would want to do in a perfect world. So for example, personally on my low energy days, the most difficult concept for me is creation. And usually in terms of like specific tasks that usually is record a podcast or create content of some kind or to talk about my work in a public facing way. And so I know that if I wake up on a low energy day, And I have scheduled for myself, a lot of creative tasks that I’m not going to be able to sit down and get my work done because I just don’t have the capacity for those tasks that day. Like I don’t have the capacity for creation. And that’s okay. Right.

[00:23:42] And because I know those things, I try to batch my work together. Right. So all of my creation tasks are scheduled for one day. And if I wake up that day, And decide that I don’t have the capacity for that that’s totally okay.. I move all of those tasks to another day. And I instead focus on internal work or I focus on non public facing creation depending on my energy level. Whether I think I am able to create in a way that is not public facing or whether I think that you know, I need to focus solely on admin work or maybe I just need to actively rest. And what that looks like for me is I have a page in my notion that shows me in a list form all of the things that I’ve decided to do for the week. And if I wake up on a day, I look at my to-do list and I go. I cannot do a single one of the things on this list today. Then I can go into that weekly list of tasks and reassign them. And I can say, okay. I’m not going to record the podcast episode today. So what can I do instead?

[00:24:42] I can look at my tasks and go, okay. I know I’m not going to record the podcast episode today, but I’m really feeling like playing in notion. So I’m going to reassign those tasks. And it just kind of gives me an opportunity to look at all of the things that I decided were priorities that week. And it gives me a chance to be like, I have control over the things that I’m doing. I don’t have to sit here and go, oh God I can’t record a podcast episode. But I have no idea what else I can do. And so instead, I’m just going to like lay here in bed and like try to like mentally picture everything that I’ve ever said I wanted to do and somehow decide between these things. Which like that sounds like a perfectly reasonable way of moving forward, but it has never worked for me. So being able to see all of the things that I already decided on and just choose different options for myself. So, so, so, so helpful.

[00:25:37] And when it comes to planning my week when it comes to deciding on my priorities, when it comes to deciding on the things that I’m going to focus on. Instead of a traditional weekly planning process where I like brain dump everything that I’ve ever wanted to do and try to prioritize from there. I actually have options pre-populated. I, during system’s recess actually, have decided on all of the potential actions that I could take in my business or in my life in regards to specific areas or things that I want to focus on.

[00:26:12] And because I do all of these things in notion, right? Like there’s like specific language that I’m going to use to describe these things. But you can just as easily make these lists on paper and have them available to you when you do whatever planning process you use because that’s essentially the thing, right? Like I just make myself lists of all of those options and then. Because I use notion I put those lists inside of a button and then I can click the button and it pre-populates all of those tasks for me on Monday. And then I get to pick and choose what I want to do for the week. So I never have to think about what tasks am I doing? And there are always going to be one-off things. Right. And there are going to be things that have deadlines and things that I can’t necessarily move around so easily.

[00:26:57] But even just in terms of like my creative practice. Right. I have a list of things I can do to be in a state of mindfulness. I have a list of things that I can do that inspire play and joy. I have a list of things that I can do that feel like play to me. I have a list of things that I can do that I know inspire creativity. And so at the beginning of the week, I populate those lists and I get to choose, right. Like, okay. I think this week I’m going to the library. And maybe next week, I’m going to decide I’m going to the museum. And maybe the week after that, I decide to schedule a yoga class. Or I find myself a video to follow along with, right or I scheduled a coworking session with a friend. Right. Like I have all of the options readily available to me. So instead of sitting here and going. Oh, God. I know that I really need to feel creative this week, but I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to get there and so therefore, I don’t know how to schedule these tasks. The decision is already made for me. The information is already there. I just have to pick and choose.

[00:28:03] And if the day comes and I’m like, fuck, like I can’t get out of bed. There is absolutely no way I’m going to the museum today. Then I can either. Because this is post pandemic and everything is online. Right. Do a virtual tour, or I can choose from that list and go, okay. The museum isn’t an option today, but I can say here and sketch the view outside of my window. Or I can sit here and watch my favorite movie and try to block out the scenes from it, right. Or I don’t know, most of my personal creative acts tend to be drawing. But it’s like, I don’t know. Maybe I could sit down and write an essay. Or I could you know, download a coloring page and do that for the day. Like I have so many options and these are all readily available off the top of my head because I see these lists every single week. And I know then I have so many options.

[00:28:56] So it never feels like I’m being forced into doing these things. It never feels like I have no other options or I don’t know what to do because I never have to make that decision. All of the options are readily available to me and I get to pick and choose when and how I do those things. And that applies to every area of my life right? Like I’m using creativity as an example here, but. I also have lots of options for marketing, right? Like I can choose to make a video or I can choose to write something and repurpose that content. I can choose to take something that I’ve already written and repurpose it. I can choose to talk about something that I love and that can be put into a podcast or a video or an audio note to a friend or to my community. Right.

I can choose to sit down and write something and that can be sent out as an email or a blog post. Or I can even take that and put it into, you know, a carousel feed post, or I can put it on social media in some way. I can choose to take something that I have already made and share it on a different platform. I can choose to take something that I’ve already done and find a new way to talk about that same topic, right? I can talk to someone directly. And typically my options with that are going to be share something that makes me think of them. I can check in and see how they’re doing and offer to help. I can share something that I’m working on. I can ask for support from them. Right. I can share past work that I think might be helpful for them.

And these are all just the options off the top of my head. Right. And again, I have a lot of practice in making these lists. I have a lot of practice of sitting down and going, okay. What are my options and acknowledging that, like, I have so many available to me.

[00:30:41] And one of my favorite ways to practice spontaneity and to plan for spontaneity. Is actually to have an intuition day and the inspiration and the name for this comes from Lexi Merritt at pretty decent. And essentially what I do is I decide that on this day, I am only going to follow my intuition. Right. I don’t have anything planned. I make sure that my entire calendar is empty for the day. And I on those days, try really hard to journal first thing in the morning. Because that is usually the easiest way to decide what I want to do for the day. And then I get to only do the things that I want for that day. I follow my intuition and again, all of those lists are very helpful for me because I don’t always wake up going. Oh yes. I want to do 500 different things today. Sometimes I wake up and I’m like, God, like, all I want to do is stay in bed and that’s fine. Those are days in which I can absolutely do that if that’s what I want. But I, as always, I have those options available to me. Again, like not having to decide what those options are is so helpful.

[00:31:43] And it doesn’t feel like I am prescribing a certain structure to my life. It doesn’t feel like I am forcing myself into a rigid structure. It doesn’t feel like I have no options. Because all of my options are readily available for me to see at any point. So if I look at my to-do list, And I see a whole list of things that I don’t want to do. I know where to go to find other options. And that makes that decision making process so much easier for me because otherwise. I’m going to look at that whole to-do list, go I’m not doing any of that, and then proceed to scroll on my phone all day’ cause I don’t know what other things to do. And the act of making that decision is really difficult for me.

[00:32:27] Another really good example of giving myself options. And building a system that can adapt for me is utilizing my environment. We talked earlier about how you and your emotions and your thought processes and your physical and mental health are an important part of any system that you build? I think your environment is another really important part that can be really impactful when you’re looking to make changes. And this is the one that like people often have the most ideas about, right. Like the idea of going to a coffee shop to get your work done for the day is one of like the most common pieces of advice that I see. Because changing your environment can absolutely help you change your thought processes and your feelings including the way in which you work.

[00:33:13] But I think that can easily be implemented in your personal environment or your work environment without having to leave per se. So then the question becomes, how do I set up my environment to support the options that I want to be choosing, right? How do I set up my environment so that my options are readily available to me? And how do I set up my environment so that the choices that I want to make are the easiest choices for me? One example of this is like, if I want to not pick up my phone, first thing in the morning. I might have an alarm clock that is separate from my phone, so that picking up my phone is not actively the first thing that I’m doing right. Or if I know that I’m going to be picking up my phone first thing in the morning. And I don’t want to scroll on social media but instead want to read a book, right? How can I make choosing those books an easier option than opening social media.

[00:34:10] Or if I know that when I sit at my desk and I have meetings, I often need to fidget with something. Can I have fidget toys readily accessible next to my desk? Right. If I know that I am more willing to prepare my breakfast when my coffee is brewing in the morning. How can I put all of the things that I need for breakfast right next to my coffee maker so that I see them. And am reminded to make my breakfast when I make my coffee in the morning, right. Another really important factor for me is I know that first thing in the morning, I’m not going to be thinking of taking my meds. My system right now is I have my pillbox right next to my coffee maker. So when I am making my coffee in the morning, I am immediately reminded and my pills are all readily available for me to take, as I’m drinking my coffee in the morning. One other system that I’ve used previously is I put my medications next to my cat’s food, because I might not necessarily remember to take my medication every day, but my cats are never going to let me forget when dinnertime is. So if my meds are right there, when I go to feed them, I see my medication and then go, oh yeah, I need to take those today.

[00:35:25] A lot of the ways in which I utilize my environment to both remind me and also provide me with options is utilizing visual cues because that’s something that is really impactful for me personally. I don’t have a lot of object permanence so if something is in a drawer, It doesn’t exist to me. Like, if I can see something I’m almost guaranteed to utilize it.

[00:35:48] I have a lot of automations set up on my phone. So like if I open an app It will like pop up a reminder or I have a lot of time-based ones too. Right? So like if I have spent 30 minutes scrolling on social media I will pop open my books app, or I will pop open the podcast app, right? Like I have lots of different options available. And I don’t always choose to move to that other option. Right. There are times when I want to scroll on social media for hours on end. And that’s fine. But disrupting the cycles that I have with some of these other options allows me to make a more intentional choice.

[00:36:27] Because I recognize that a lot of the things that I tend to get stuck on are actively designed for me to want to spend all of my time on them. Like social media and the internet has no end. There is no like visual or a physical cue for me to stop doing these things. And because I have time blindness, I have literally no idea how much time has passed when I am doing these things. So having some external marker of, oh, you’ve spent two hours here do you want to continue this or would you like to move on and do something else? Is really helpful for me to be intentional about the choices that I’m making.

[00:37:10] And again, At the end of the day, it’s all about providing myself with options. It’s recognizing what things are difficult for me. It’s recognizing when I’m not going to make a decision unless I am prompted. Right. And then providing myself with those prompts and accommodating those situations and my own energy, my own habits. Because again, I’m not assigning morality to these things. My issue is not that I am spending hours on social media or that I am not getting out of bed. My issue is that if I am not prompted to make a different decision, I know that I will not. And I know in order to make an intentional and compassionate decision, I need to be prompted in these situations with the options available to me.

[00:37:56] I have systems set up that can adapt to any level of energy. I have system set up that can adapt to different moods and different capabilities and different times of year. And I know several people who have systems set up that can adapt to the menstrual cycle that they’re in right. I know people who have systems set up that adapt to the planetary cycles and astrological events. And you know, people who based their business on human design.

[00:38:28] One of my favorite sayings is that the only constant is change. And as much as it can feel really difficult for me to acknowledge that and accommodate for changes in my life. I recognize that without those accommodations change is even harder for me to deal with. And I think that was the biggest mindset shift for me. I often felt like even acknowledging that the change was happening was too much for my nervous system.

[00:38:57] And now I’m at a point where, because I have these adaptable systems in place. Yes. Change is still hard. But because I feel in control of that change. And because I’m no longer having to make a decision about what options are available to me it’s much easier for me to move with those changes. Because the reality was that those changes were going to happen, whether I acknowledged them or not. Whether I provide myself with accommodations or not I am going to have high energy and low energy days. So having accommodations can only benefit me. It does not harm me in any way. Providing accommodations for myself benefits everyone else in my life in the same way, right, that everyone can benefit from a curb cut whether you’re in a wheelchair or not.

[00:39:43] So I recognize that like, These things aren’t necessarily a common way of thinking. And also that a lot of the ways in which I think about these things, a lot of the ways in which I am reacting to my life and my emotions and external conditions is very much filtered through my own lens of experience and my own disability and my own neurodivergence. So the accommodations that I make for myself, aren’t necessarily going to be something that everyone needs.

[00:40:12] But I also know that I am not the only person who thinks about things in this way. And I also know that there is not a lot of information out there that can acknowledge planning and preparation without triggering PDA and without triggering a traumatic response. And there’s a lot of advice out there that quite frankly just did not work for me because that’s not the way that I think about things. And that’s okay. Again, With accommodations can only help everyone. Right. Seeing the ways in which other people think about things is always fascinating to me.

[00:40:45] And. I have to be able to filter that through a lens of self knowledge so that I can acknowledge that like, Yes. This may be something that works for you. Yes, it may be the life altering situation for you, but it might not work for me because I have different needs. And that’s okay. But by acknowledging those needs and acknowledging what accommodations I need, I can build something that is going to work for me.

[00:41:09] And that’s the point that I want everyone to get to . Whether you work with me or not I want you to get to the place where thinking about the ways in which things can be easier for you is second nature. I want you to get to a point where you can build your own accommodations, where you can easily adapt to whatever you need to, because you have these systems in place, because you have the frameworks to think about these challenges in a different way. Because again, the impact that these things have had in my own life is absolutely staggering.

[00:41:42] And I know that while these things can be challenging in the beginning, in the same way that any change is challenging in the beginning. You can also see the impact and the support if you’re willing to make these changes, willing to try thinking about things in this different way. Because whether the solutions that I’ve presented work for you or not, coming back to acknowledging your own needs can only help you build the accommodations that will work for you.

[00:42:10] Until the next episode, may you find ease and joy in the life that you’re living, rain or shine.

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